IT'S TIME FOR... MALTA
Malta's the Danny Devito of the Mediterranean. Tiny, with loads going for it (and fit AF).
Ruggedy rocks meet peacock blue sea, and grand-looking buildings sit next to warm- blooded people.
Pretty good going, considering the whole island is smaller than Manchester.
And unlike Manchester, Malta’s neighbours with Sicily and Tunisia so it gets scorchio in the summer. Head there now that it’s cool enough to move around.
Malta’s poster boy, ‘The Azure Window’ recently collapsed.
(Where Daenerys and Drogo got hitched in Game of Thrones).
But the Blue Lagoon (where Troy was filmed) and the Blue Hole are still going strong.
Hire a car and drive up to Comino to snorkel around them all.
Malta’s surprisingly well stocked with fit old relics and ancient history.
Like the walled city of ‘Mdina’ - nicknamed The ‘Silent City’, because it’s a bit of a ghost town (only 300 people live here, but it was the capital back in the middle ages).
The Norman and Baroque buildings are old and fancy as hell - kind of spooky if you visit at night.
These weird looking Unesco beauts are ‘Megalithic temples’- they’re 5000 odd years old.
They’re some of the ‘oldest free-standing structures on earth’. Claim. This one’s called ‘Hagar Qim’, kind of like Maltese stone henge, but... er, better.
The gardens of San Anton are all orangey this time of year.
Food here’s similar to Sicily and influenced by Tunisia - think rich rabbit stews and fresh fish, head for Rubino's.
In the evening, Bridge Bar is live jazz while you sit outside on the steps.
Or Tico Tico dive bar on Strait Street, where the sailors used to drink. Get down early for a seat on the pink velvet armchairs outside and join the projection of Dita Von Teese stripteasing on the wall.
You could come here when it's savagely hot, and sit on your arse and stare at the sea. And that would be time well spent. But go now so you can wander round the old towns and check out the ancient relics without getting heat stroke.