Ahhh Moldova, land of… ex-Soviet-ism and… uhm… being cheap?

One of the least visited places in Europe, Moldova’s only been a legit country since 1991 (n’awww), which might explain why half the world would struggle to point to it on a map. But don’t let that put you off, cos just as you suspected Moldova is cheap as Eastern European chips.

So just how far will £20 get you in Moldova? #Spoiler: it’s pretty far.

‘Soviet architecture’ can sound like a euphemism for ‘ugly as fuck’. And in some senses, that’s true of Moldova’s capital Chișinău. But when walking round the city you start to be charmed by its imposing buildings and faded brutalism.

One building that does shine like a sparkly free toy in a packet of Weetabix is The Cathedral of Christ's Nativity. It’s plain white on the outside but gilded to the nines on the inside. Head on in and pray, Liberace style.

For views over the city, climb to the top of The Chișinău Water Tower (home to The Museum of the City of Chișinău) at dusk.

Crowded, noisy and full of hidden gems, the Central Market is the best place to belly-flop straight into local life. Wave hello to Chișinăuan grandmas as you grab yourself a bargain.

As soon as the sun comes out, locals head to Valea Morilor Park. It’s a giant, beautiful park on a lake with its very own beach. Yep, that’ll do.

Luckily, you won’t have to splash any cash to get around Chișinău. As well as being small enough to walk most places, a tram ride will set you back 2MDL. Nope, your currency calculator hasn’t ballsed up the decimal place, that’s 7 pence.

For 10 Lei / 50p you can get a ticket for The National Museum of Fine Arts Chișinău - there’s a lot of gems on display and the museum itself is bloody delightful to wander through.

Coffee Molka does its coffee strong and its furnishing's retro. Even betterer, nobody’s going to judge you for asking for a swig of Kvint Cognac in your 10am cup - it’s a local fave in Moldova, the second booziest nation in the world. A cup will set you back about £1.

Orheiul Vechi is Moldova’s most important historical site - a monastery complex high on a mountain with caves, baths and rooms full of gold. From the village of Butuceni, it’s a 15 minute hike.

Grab a £2 map from the Orheiul Vechi Exhibition Centre in the village to make sure you don’t end up in the River Răut. £2 plus travel to Butuceni.

At La Placinte you can try classic Moldovan dishes like dumplings, savoury pies and many hot salty things with no English translation… Pair them with Cricova Criseco Brut - basically Moldovan Champagne - and you’re still only looking at a £10 bill.

If you like your traditional Moldovan mămăligă (polenta porridge) with a side of Soviet chic, Propaganda Cafe is your lad. It’s decked out like Nana’s house was during the Cold War (plus the food’s tippity-top). A main will set you back about £5.

Tipografia 5 is the kind of secret club you’ll only know about if you’re in with the Chisinau cool kidz. Tricky to find, rarely advertised and hosting club nights with names like ‘enigmatic’ you’d be forgiven for thinking they’re trying to keep you out.

But persevere, this dirty warehouse full of alternative art and deep music is like Blade Runner come to life. Entrance price varies but expect to pay around £5.

Look up ‘The Biggest Wine Cellar in the World’ in The Guinness Book of Records and you’ll see it’s true. Moldova’s packing a whole lot of vino. Milestii Mici wine cellar is basically an underground city, with streets named after varieties of grape and visitors navigating the maze of pinot noir and chenin blanc on foot, bicycle and mini-car. Sample wines from Moldova (course), but make sure you keep out of Putin and Angela Merkle’s private stock. Apparently Putin’s got a right temper on him.

You can get a tour from Chisinau that includes transport, snacks and, of course, wine tasting for £26.

Moldova’s one of the cheapest countries in Europe, with great wine, an up-and-coming art scene and ugly-pretty brutalism. Be the first of your friends to discover its hidden charms, then bang on about how you got there first 👌