Slabs of turkey (the driest meat known to man), lumpy mash and, of course, sprouts. Surely there’s another way? Here's some alternative Christmas Dins from around the world...

In Prague, it’s traditional to buy a live fish, keep it in the bath tub, then eat it on Christmas eve with potato salad. Pretty funny when Auntie Norma steps in for her 6am shower. Remember to save a dried scale from the carp in your wallet for luck.

Speculoos, are those yummers crunchy biscuits made with brown sugar and cinnamon that you get with your coffee. They’re a Brussels special, and at Christmas-time children leave their shoes full of carrots by the chimney for Santa. In the morning, the carrots have been replaced by speculoos biscuits. Fair trade, Santa.

For Japanese families, KFC (Kentucky for Christmas) is the norm after an advert persuaded the nation that a family bucket was what Santa would’ve wanted. Warning: to get involved you need to order the bucket weeks in advance, and you’ll still have to queue for hours.

Joulupöytä translates as ‘Christmas table’ and it does exactly that - a table full of festive food. It’s the Finnish equivalent of a smorgasbord, with cured meats, pickled herring, stew and a Christmas ham. Probs not one for the veggies.

Lampreia de Ovos is a Christmas Portuguese sweet egg cake baked in the shape of a sea lamprey - the horrific parasitic fish that uses its horror-film-style rows of teeth to latch onto its victims… Righty-ho.

What this soup needs is… more chocolate. The Maltese love chocolate (famously). Imbuljuta tal-Qastan is a thick chocolate, chestnut and orange Christmas treat, somewhere between hot chocolate and a soup. Sold.

The French do Christmas right: oysters, champagne and buche de noel. Fiiiiine. You win this one France.