‘Somewhere with museums, history, art..’ says your brain.

‘Feck that, get me on a beach…’ say your pasty bum cheeks.

‘As long as there’s a well-stocked bar…’ says your inner alcoholic.

Don’t sweat it. There’s a magical place where you don’t have to choose. It’s Time For Alicante.

Alicante is beach and culture shaken up. Golden beaches and crystally waters are a given. But head away from the coast and you’ll find fortress hikes, secret gardens and island museums...

Check out El Barrio (the old town) for cafes and terrace bars, and drink horchata as you stroll the promenade.

El Barrio (the old town) and La Explanada are the best parts of town for a cultural stroll. Psst, if walking’s not your bag then the tram serves up cracking views.

The Alicante Museum of Contemporary Art (MACA) is free and has works by Picasso, Miró and Dalí. Tick, tick, tick.

Parque el Palmeral is one of those lush Spanish gardens where you can't move for tropical palm trees. Hunt secret waterfalls, winding paths and even a boating lake 🚣

As the ancient Alicantean proverb goes, ‘He who travels to our shores and doesn’t visit the Castle of Santa Barbara is a twat.’ Hanging over the whole city, you literally can’t miss it. Explore towers, dungeons, churches, palaces and a moat, plus the best view over the sea.

Everywhere you turn in Alicante you’ll bump into another beautiful beach. Problem is, everyone else has bumped into them too. Pick one of these more secret spots for sun worship without the banana boats.

La Almadraba is a little oasis of calm. You’d be mad to leave before the gawjus sunset.

On tiny Tabarca Island, you’ll have a slice of the Mediterranean all to yourself.

Pink lakes with pink flamingos. Is this David Attenborough’s Calpol-infused dream? Nahh, Las Salinas de Torrevieja (an hour's drive from Alicante) is pink thanks to rare algae. Dip into the minerally waters for a swim that’ll cure your skin lurgies.

It’s hard to go wrong with the food in Alicante. Locals like to enjoy a giant late lunch (who doesn’t) of 'arroz a banda'. It’s a kind of cousin to paella, stuffed full of seafood. There’s also honey and almond nougat (turrón de Jijona) and chocolate from nearby Villajoyosa. ‘Nuff said.

For a lil taste of everything, romp around the Mercado Central (a kind of foodie Mecca) tasting samples from all the stalls. You can even hop on an Alicante gourmet walking tour for the full lowdown on king prawns and chorizo.

‘The best tapas bar in Spain’ you say? Yep, sold. You can tell from the hams hanging from the ceiling, La Taberna del Gourmet’s legit. Order one of everything.

Sometimes you just want a giant slab of steak. Bodeguita 1999’s got your back.

Even Shakespeare loved fondillón, Alicante’s semi-sweet wine. There’s never been a more cultural excuse to get on the sauce… Try Shakey’s fave at wine bar Vadevins.

More of a beer lover? Bonobo is your guy for every craft ale going.

Looking for an alcohol-free option? Grab local horchata (like a nutty milkshake) from 100 year old kiosk Peret.

Gabinete de Maravillas is a kind of sum up of Alicante’s mixed up beauty. It’s a bar, but with a an art gallery and live opera thrown in. Alicante, you so cray.

Once you’ve found Coscorrón's teensy door (the name means bumped head) you’ll find a dive-bar-Narnia of jazz, graffiti and giant Mojitos.

After drinks in El Barrio, head to El Puerto pier. There’s the usual trashy bars, but hidden amongst the dross is a salsa nightclub with the sultry name ‘Capitán Haddock’. Yep.

Alicante’s like the perfect tapas meal - there’s a little sumsin-sumsin for everyone 😏