‘Ye take the high road, and I’ll take the-’ NOPE.

The only way is up in Scotland’s Highlands.

Inverness (an auld beaut in its own right) is the perfect place to start your Highland adventures. Strap on your hiking boots (and 11 jumpers) to romp around this bonnie land.

Loch Ness

Och aye the noo, Nessie!'

Said no one ever.

But people still flock to try and see Nessie in her watery home.

But whether you spot the monster or not (spoiler: you won’t) Loch Ness is worth the trip. It’s got more water than all the lakes in England and Wales put together, and it’s easy on the eyes.

Distance from Inverness: 20 mins.

Mountains, everywhere

If you like your hikes vertical, you’re in for a treat cos The Highlands are all mountain.

There’s the Cairngorms, a national park with castles, distilleries, sports and a herd of wild reindeer (40 mins from Inverness).

The Highlands are also home to the highest mountain in the British Isles, Ben Nevis (2 hrs from Inverness).

Still not had your mountainy fill? The Five Sisters of Kintail are only an hour and a half’s drive from Inverness.

Glenmorangie Distillery

‘By the tranquil shores of the Dornoch Firth, amidst the golden barley fields of Ross-shire, lies the Glenmorangie Distillery…’

This is no ordinary piss-up.

As you’re lead round the distillery, you’ll learn all about the secret ways this award-winning whisky is made (there’s special casks, a ten-year ageing process and stills with necks the size of a giraffe).

End with a wee dram (or bottle) of the amber stuff. Slàinte.

Harry Potter Train

‘And here we have the Glenfinnan Viaduct, a feat of engineering and-’

‘Shut up MUDBLOOD and get to the Harry Potter stuff, amirite?’

Yep, this bridge is impressive AF, but it’s more famous these days as the route the Hogwarts Express takes.

Catch a legit steam train over it in summer (with a few Christmas specials), or a regular train in winter. From where? Platform 9¾ you muggle.

Distance from Inverness: 2hrs to Mallaig station, then get the half hour train to Glenfinnan.

Skye

The Isle of Skye Norse for ‘Cloud Island’) has just the right ratio of rugged wilderness to pubs.

Hike to the Old Man of Storr, Mealt Falls, Neist Point and the fae wonderland at fairy glen, then tuck up next to the fire with a dram of Talisker.

As with the rest of Scotland, pack yer anorak.

Skye is just over 3hrs from Inverness (no need for ferries - you can drive over the Skye Crossing.