Cannes Film Festival is a circus of red carpets, sunshine, celebs and Class As. Mostly you’ll be pressed against the flaps of the tent desperate to be inside. Once you’re in, you’ll be living in fear of being discovered and thrown out on your ear. But that’s what it's all about. Even if you ain’t Angelina Jolie, there’s plenty of fun to be had in the world’s glitziest film fest.

Here’s LuckyTrip’s guide to How To Do Cannes Film Festival...

Loads of peeps stand outside the Palais des Festivals in full evening dress with signs begging for tickets. It’s simultaneously humiliating and unlikely to work. A better idea is to befriend a press person at the bar and hope for a +1. It’s grimly transactional, but needs must.

If selling yourself ain’t your bag (fairs), the public can buy tickets to Critics’ Week and Directors’ Fortnight. You can also get free tickets to the Cinéma de la Plage from the Cannes Tourist Office.

Again, it’s going to be tricky to to blag your way in. Make friends with someone with a press pass or find a celeb lookalike, like this ballsy French actor who made a film about it called ‘Merci Beaucoup Bradley Cooper’.

Hang around beachside bars looking pretty. Buh-bye morals, I wanna lick James McAvoy’s face.

1. Get to the Palais des Festivals a good few hours before the premiere of their film.
2. Hang out at fancy hotel bars like The Grand Hotel or The Carlton.
3. Buy a giant yacht and lots of drugs and become the Great Gatsby of Cannes 2018.

You know what’s more embarrassing than being chucked out of the Palme d’Or award? Being chucked out of its bitter rival, the Palm Dog awards.

This special award ceremony for best canine performance is surprisingly hard to get into, but my god it’s worth it.

Get in touch with the organisers for a chance to see who wears the Palm Dog collar this year - past winners include the cast of White God, Poppy from Sightseers and of course, Uggie, star of The Artist.

If you only listen to one piece of advice at Cannes Film Festival, let it be this. Turn. On. Tinder. You never know how alone and horny Timothée Chalamet or Saoirse Ronan might be feeling…

The Cannes Film Festival runs from 8th - 19th May 2018.