Isn’t that where they film ‘Sun, Sex and Suspicious Parents?’

Ayia Napa has a rep - the ‘Geordie Shore’ lads holiday here…

But is there more to this part of Cyprus than necking sex on the beach while also preparing to have sex on the beach?

Well, about the beach...

Nissi is one of the best in Europe. Hands down. Crystally water, powdery sand... all the trimmings.

And the sea does look like that.

Bluer than David Gandy’s eyes wrestling a smurf.

So anything that involves being in the sea, near the sea or under the sea, is going to be great.

Dive like this legend ^ off the cliffs at Cape Greco. The water’s so clear you can see the expressions of the fish as you plunge into their home.

The Palatia sea caves are just round the coast. They’re 80m of prime snorkeling real estate, where locals come to catch octopus.

People do ‘under water scootering’ here.
It’s like scuba diving, but with less kicking your legs, and more zooming up to coral.

Yeah you’ll look daft - really, sanity-questioningly daft, but hey you’re scooting into submerged caves and racing exotic fish.

Culturey stuff

There’s a 15th Century Monastery here. Tree- lined and carved from a sandstone cave and by some stroke of comic genius it's a 1 minute walk from the tackiest drinking hub, ‘The Square’.

Do Friar Tuck and bros come and shake their fists at tourists groping outside the gates? Probs.

Cyprus itself isn’t very big, and the Troodes mountains are a short drive up the coast.

Platres village is snuggled between pine forests and monasteries. There’s plenty of tiny cafes for lunch, and you can hike up to the Kaledonian water falls.

What about the evenings...

Depending on what your tolerance is like for tanked up Brits sticking their heads in fishbowls and chanting at each other, you might be better avoiding the big clubs on the main strip, and pretty much all the bars.

Instead, winesy dinners in local tavernas are your best bet.

Cypriot food sits next door to Greek and Turkish (think fresh grilled meat, fish and maze). Win.

Isaac Tavern at the port will do you fresh seafood and juicy calamari. Something about sitting by the sea and eating seafood smacks of holiday.

Or sit under the veranda at Tony’s Taverna for ‘lamb kleftiko’. Tony has a long white beard, so you know you’re in safe hands.

Verdict

The main strip is teaming with braying yobs and orange women. But just don’t go there (unless you’re writing an article for Vice).

Head for the pristine sea, and knock-out beaches. If you get even further away you’re into mountains and monasteries, and wherever you go there’s tasty Cypriot food.

Ayia Napa definitely deserves a second chance.